I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
