I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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