and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
