i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
