Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
