WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
bring money and cleavage
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
