Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
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The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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