Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
