So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
