just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
