i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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