Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
