I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
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Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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