Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Girls should come with a carfax report
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
