saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
