she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
