I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
