At least make sure they are 18
Why
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
