And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
