ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
