Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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