Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
