wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
