my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize