Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
