That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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