I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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