all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
