this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
