ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
