We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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