going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
