was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
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He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize