in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
