you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
