Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my sisters under your porch take her home
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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