i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize