Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
