she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
