i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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