I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
