Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
