Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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