so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
