I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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