Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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