does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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