Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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