kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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