My room smells like vodka and shame
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
