Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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