Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
