just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
