Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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