dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Randomize
