ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
