my sisters under your porch take her home
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize