All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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