Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
