i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
