I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize