that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong