meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.