the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.