Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me