i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
