porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
