Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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