I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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