Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
