i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
