I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
