super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
